


The Self Remains

by abbas_ragamuffin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Brothers, Crossover, Gen, I'll be playing with canon for both fandoms, Loki has nightmares, Protective!Thor, and some Norse mythology, brotp's abound, plus comic book canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-19 07:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8196400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbas_ragamuffin/pseuds/abbas_ragamuffin
Summary: Loki needs therapy, who else could handle the mind of a god but Charles Xavier. Set between The Avengers and Thor: the Dark World. No slash. No ships (yet. any ships will likely be hinted at or referenced. this is also subject to change.)





	1. First Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an idea that wouldn't let me go. It's been in progress for a while now, but I wanted to post it to see if there is enough interest to continue. There will be angst and I will try to keep humor, but this isn't a crack or parody fic. Rated Teen for now since some themes of abuse/torture, ect. may eventually crop up, but I will update the ratings and warnings then. This is roughly edited, so any mistakes I missed I apologize, its 4am. Please feel free to review/comment any constructive criticism (I welcome it, just please be kind)
> 
> I do not own Thor or the Avengers or any characters, only the story is mine. I couldn't add all the characters in the summary box, but eventually all of the Avengers and most of the X-Men will have their parts.

 

Thor walked away from another fruitless mission in search of Loki's scepter; his head hung low in defeat. The victory over yet another criminal enterprise did little to ease his growing sense of hopelessness. Loki, in his bitter stubbornness, had made it clear that he would never give them the location of the scepter. Thor has not been home or spoken to him since. So they continue the search, following even the slightest leads. In finding the scepter, he hoped he would have answers to all his questions – to learn that Loki had been as much a victim as Barton and Selvig. But at this rate, he may have to accept the loss of his brother forever.

"Thor," Steve called, and Thor turned to see the Captain jogging towards him. "Listen, I know you don't like talking about Loki…"

"Even in the dungeons Loki refuses to cooperate…" Thor interrupted.

"That's not what I was gonna say…" Steve sighed, coming to stand before him, "I think I might have found a way to help."

"Help Loki?" Thor clarified, confused, "Why would you want to help him?"

Silence fell between them as the Captain looked to the rest of their team, jovial and joking despite the failure amidst the victory. The battle hadn't even been a difficult one, Banner hadn't needed to become the Hulk. Thor wanted to revel with them, but he just hadn't felt joyful of late.

"They don't know what it's like – to have your best friend and brother turned against you." Thor knew exactly of whom Captain Rogers spoke.

"I will hear what you have to say then, my friend."

"I'm not sure how much you know of how SHIELD got started, but there was a woman, Peggy Carter, who was very special to me – and still is." Steve began, walking toward the jet, and Thor fell in step beside him. "About twenty or so years after my crash, Peggy heard of an up and coming CIA agent, Moira MacTaggert, who worked closely with a team of people who had…unusual talents."

"What does this have to do with Loki?"

"The leader of the team is called Charles Xavier, he can read minds, and it's rumored that he can even control them. He's an incredibly powerful man, but he's also kind and compassionate. He runs a school for troubled youngsters who have similar powers and are also mentally scarred and damaged – the outcasts of society."

"You're saying he could control Loki's mind?"

"No, I mean, yea he could, but that's not what I'm suggesting. Bring Loki to this man as a kind of therapist, maybe Xavier could not only help heal Loki's mind, but help him to use his powers for good – get him to tell us where the scepter is."

His words were everything Thor wanted to hear: healing for Loki, his brother once again fighting by his side, the scepter taken care of. Thor dropped his head, knowing it would be futile, knowing Loki would happily hurt himself to spite the ones who loved him.

"It is a fascinating idea, Captain, but I cannot risk bringing Loki to earth."

"Then bring Xavier to him." Steve handed him a folded piece of paper as they stopped, "If it were my brother, there's nothing I wouldn't try to break through to him."

As the Captain walked away, Thor didn't even take the time to say goodbye to everyone else. He went home to Jane, expressed his regret that he couldn't stay and that he'd see her soon.

"Heimdall!" Thor called. The bifrost opened and Thor returned to Asgard for the first time in a year.

"It is good to see you, my Prince."

"You as well, Heimdall."

Thor wasted no time, going straight to his brother's cell. There was no point in in meeting this man and ensuring his help if Loki was going to deny it. Nor did he want to give their mother hope only to have it snatched away by Loki's stubborn nature. Odin wouldn't appreciate him going behind his back like this, but just as the Captain said, Thor was willing to risk just about anything. The guards came to attention as Thor approached.

"Thor, I didn't expect to see you ever again." Came Loki's mocking voice from the cell.

Thor didn't reply, never taking his eyes off Loki as he said, "Let down the shields, I would have words with my brother."

"But my Prince…"

"I said, lower the shields…" The guard complied, and though Loki looked amused and curious, he also looked frightened. Once Thor was inside the shields were turned back on. Loki was backed against the wall, but not because Thor cornered him there. "Cast an illusion, what I have to say is for your ears alone."

"Or you plan to kill me."

"If that was my wish I would have done it already…" Thor stated flatly. Loki looked to the guards as if asking for aid, but knowing he would receive none.

"Does Odin know you're here?"

"No one does. As I said, what I have to say is for your ears only." His words didn't seem to ease the tension that now radiated off him in waves. There was distance between them, Thor hadn't threatened him, and he only wished to understand why Loki seemed so frightened of him.

In spite of that, Loki closed his eyes and the magic surrounded them. "The cell appears empty, and no sound will escape it."

Thor relaxed only slightly, concerned at his brothers fear of him. "I will come straight to the point – I don't want to leave you down here to rot, but nor will I allow you to roam free and wreak your havoc or kill us all. I have met an exceptionally powerful man on earth who is willing to help you should you agree to it."

It would be easier to lie to Loki now and learn the truth, than to enlist this man's help only to be let down.

"Help me with what, exactly."

"Your mind."

"What is wrong with my mind?" Loki challenged, his ire rising. Thor paused, treading more carefully now that Loki hadn't refused outright.

"Perhaps nothing, perhaps everything, or maybe just some things." He didn't know how to tell the truth without incurring Loki's wrath.

"How vague." Loki was incredulous, his fingers scratching at the palm of his hand, just the way their mother does. "You're willing to grant my freedom if I just talk to this man?"

"There are conditions he's asked for…"

"Of course there are…" Loki rolled his eyes, and for a moment Thor thought he might burst into laughter.

Thor quickly replied, "Would you think about it, or at least consent to meet him?" Thor pleaded. Loki inhaled a slow, deep breath, squaring his shoulders and looking as regal as Thor remembered.

"I have questions and reservations, but I will meet him."

"Thank you, Loki."

With that the illusion fell, the guards lowered the walls, and Thor left his brother alone. He couldn't risk showing emotion, be it joy or sadness, lest Loki use it against him. While his brother might have agreed, Thor didn't trust that Loki wouldn't run the first chance he got, especially since he agreed so easily. Now he had to return, and he prayed that Charles Xavier would be willing to help him. He'd never be able to face Loki again if Xavier denied him now.

"Heimdall, open the Bifrost." Thor commanded, practically running into the chamber. "Also, I will need you to have two horses waiting here for when I return."

"As you wish…" The Gate was opened and Thor lingered at the side of his old friend. He clutched the address in his hand like the last shred of hope it was.

"Are you aware of Captain Rogers' friend, Sergeant Barnes?" Thor asked.

"I am,"

"Find him for me…before I return?"

"I shall, my Prince." Heimdall promised with a slight bow.

Thor smiled with a grateful nod. Even if Xavier didn't pan out, Thor could help his friend in this, just as Steve helped him. He stepped into the open bifrost, confused when he landed at Jane's apartment.

"Thor, you're back so soon." Jane said, joining him on the balcony of her apartment.

"Yes, but again, I can't stay long." He said quickly, hoping to get away before she asked too many questions.

"SHIELD just called, they wanted to know why so many Bifrosts have been opening and closing today." He was going to tell her, but imagining her reaction to finding out that he was trying to help Loki get out of prison made him think twice. He hated to lie, but it was just this once.

"I'm trying to take care of a few things, Heimdall is helping me and I need to go to Asgard to get the updates."

"Is everything alright?" she asked, worried.

"Yes, everything is fine. You can call them back and tell them a few more may open between tonight and tomorrow."

"Thor…"

"I'm sorry Jane, I must go." He kissed her temple affectionately, and then raising Mjolnir, he took to the sky.

Thor hadn't been sure what to expect, but it certainly hadn't been this. A huge castle like structure stood in the midst of a wide open landscape. It was isolated and well hidden, more appropriate for a fortress than a school. There was no one outside that he could see as he approached the front door. His knock on the door was answered by a young boy who didn't say a word to him.

"I'm looking for Charles Xavier." Thor said. Again, the young boy said nothing, just turned away and started walking. Thor quickly entered and shut the door behind him, catching up to the boy at the end of the long hall.

"Come in," a voice called through the door, despite that neither of them had knocked. The boy walked away and Thor cautiously opened the door.

"Ah, you must be Thor…Professor Charles Xavier," The man moved his wheelchair toward him and extended his hand, "Captain Rogers told me to expect you."

"I am honored to make your acquaintance," Thor shook his hand, startled that such a powerful man was not only so much older, but also confined to a wheelchair. He knew that neither of those things truly mattered, it just wasn't what he expected.

"Please, have a seat. Tea?" the man offered.

"No, thank you." Thor said as he sat down, "They say you can read minds, even control them."

"I can do that, and much more…" came the voice in his head. Thor was on his feet at the intrusion in his mind, Mjolnir at the ready. The man chuckled softly raising his hand, "My apologies, it was just a demonstration. So, tell me, what brings a Norse god to my school?"

The man had a gentle smile and an even gentler demeanor, leaving Thor to wonder how he'd gained such a reputation. Once again he sat down, taking a deep breath as he prepared to be rejected, or possibly turned in as a traitor.

"My brother, Loki."

"The one who tried to take over New York?" Thor looked up in fear, "We watched it on TV…" The man didn't seem angry or surprised, and so Thor continued.

"I know I have no right to ask, and you will likely deny me anyway. I just wondered if you'd be willing to help in any way. I'd be forever in your debt."

"Well, I'm not exactly in the business of harboring war criminals. But you've come all this way, and I must admit you've piqued my interest, so tell me what you had in mind…"

"Loki is currently in the dungeons of Asgard where he is set to remain until the end of his life – a few thousand years yet, at least." This seemed to trouble Xavier greatly.

"Is he alone?"

Thor nodded, "In his cell, he is. But there are other cells, and guards, and my mother sneaks visits when she thinks we do not notice."

"And have _you_ seen him?"

"I just saw him earlier asking if he'd agree to meet you. But before that, no; I was not even present for his sentencing."

"That was near a year ago, yes?" Thor could only nod in response. "The bond between brothers can be a complicated and fragile thing…"

"He tried to kill me – twice."

"And yet you are here asking for my help." Charles countered. Thor sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.

"There is something that has been bothering me for quite some time. Before the Chitauri invaded, Loki allowed me to capture him. We spoke, or rather argued, but he said that he remembered me tossing him into the abyss. At the time I dismissed it since there were more pressing matters, but it has nagged at me since. I didn't toss Loki into an abyss; I was holding onto the same thing he was, and _he_ let go." Thor paused, suppressing the image of his brother falling, "Were I able I would have followed him."

"Perhaps he was just saying it to make you feel guilty?"

Thor shook his head, "There are plenty of other things that Loki could have said that would make me feel guilty – things that were actually true."

"What do you think I can do?"

"Loki's mind is a battlefield, a maze of trickery, mischief, and lies…" Thor paused, swallowing hard his own guilt at his failings, "…And pain. I want to believe that he is still in there somewhere, like a scared child hiding in the dark. I love him and I want to help him, but in Loki's eyes that makes me weak, and he uses it to against me. Before I see him again I want to know – I _need_ to know – how much of Loki's actions were his own and if he was at all under the control of the mind stone he used against Barton and Selvig."

"But may I ask what it is you wish to accomplish by this?"

"Loki's mind was lost as soon as he discovered his true heritage, he has been a stranger to me ever since. Given the state of Loki's mind I believe my father's punishment may do more harm than good in the long run. I miss my brother. If I can find evidence he wasn't entirely at fault, perhaps it will help him."

The professor was silent for several moments, not really looking at Thor, but almost looking through him. It was unnerving. When Xavier met his eyes once more, he was smiling.

"I can tell you a story, if you swear that you will never repeat what I am about to say."

"You have my word." Thor assured him.

"One of my very first students, Jean, is more powerful even then I am. But there is a part of her mind that is a force of nature – when it takes over, it leaves in its wake a trail of chaos and destruction. I built barriers in her mind that suppressed her own knowledge of, and the true potential of, her powers…until she was in full control of them."

"Did it work?" Thor asked.

"Well, it's a work in progress, but she is getting stronger." Xavier leaned closer toward him, "The point is, she is protected from that part of her mind, and so is everyone around her in the meantime."

"Do you believe you could do that with Loki?" Thor asked, praying that the Norns would bestow their favor on him.

"I could try…but he would have to be willing…and I would prefer him to stay here."

"Here…among all these children?"

"These children are much more than they appear to be, I think your brother would fit in perfectly." Thor considered the man's offer, and given that this was his only real option, it wasn't hard to accept.

"Well, Loki has already agreed to meet you, he has questions. I would need you to accompany me to Asgard." Thor said, rising from his feet.

"Go there…to Asgard?" the professor stammered.

"Yes. You wouldn't need to stay any longer than it takes Loki to decide."

"But my chair, how would we travel?"

"I will take us to a different location, then I will hold on to you through the bifrost. There will be horses waiting and I can arrange accommodations for your condition once we arrive."

Xavier smiled with a childlike innocence and excitement, "Well, I may never have an opportunity to travel to space again. Shall we?"

Thor had to take them separately, leaving his chair just out of the way. Once more, he called out to Heimdall.

* * *

Frigga sat just outside the chamber, mounted on her horse. Thor's request for two horses, as well as his abrupt return and subsequent exit had piqued her interest. Not to mention he hadn't even bothered to say hello to her after being away so long. A year can feel little more than a day, but as a mother separated from both her sons, time has slowed to a crawl.

"Heimdall…" at the sound of Thor's voice, she dismounted her horse to get a closer look.

"My Prince…"

She peered around the edge, watching Thor carry a much older man and settle him on the saddle of a waiting mare. He was very well dressed by Earth's standards, and by the looks of it, had lost the use of his legs. The man finally straightened his back and took hold of the reigns and Frigga stepped forward.

"Thor…" her son stopped, coming to attention at the sound of her voice.

"Mother?" she graced him with a smile, keeping her authority about her until she knew more.

"A word, please?"

"I'll be right back." Thor said to his companion. The man nodded and Thor made his way toward her.

"Who is this man and why have you brought him?" she asked softly, not wanting to draw attention. Thor released a heavy sigh, taking hold of her hand before meeting her eyes.

"He may have a way to heal Loki's mind, and Loki for his part, has agreed to meet with him."

She blinked. Then in a moment, reminded herself to breath; the words repeating, but still not making sense. Loki had agreed to meet a man – a mortal – who might help him?! Her hands gripped Thor's wrists, exhaling as she struggled to contain her emotion.

"Thor, does Odin know of this?"

"No, I decided it was better not to alarm him if Loki refused, nor did I want to give you hope only to have those hopes crushed once more." She managed a smile, grateful that her son had been so conscious of and considerate of her feelings. Though, none of them could handle any more disappointed hope where Loki was concerned.

"You really believe he can help Loki – heal him?"

"I believe he is our best hope."

At Thor's words, she didn't diminish her smile.

"Then I will meet him…" she mounted her horse once more, entering the chamber side by side with her son, "My apologies for keeping you waiting,"

"Professor Xavier, this is my mother, Queen Frigga. Mother, this is Professor Charles Xavier…"

"Oh Professor Xavier, I cannot thank you enough for coming." She extended her hand toward him.

"The honor is mine, your highness." He pressed his lips to Frigga's hand. She could sense his anxiety, and bowed her head with a gracious smile.

"I shall ride ahead," Thor said, not waiting for permission.

"Thor didn't have much time to tell me about you. What are you a professor of exactly?" she asked as they began the long walk down the rainbow bridge.

"At my school I teach physics and much of the sciences to my students. I graduated with honors at the age of 16 from Harvard University and I have a Ph.D. in Genetics, Biophysics, Psychology, and Anthropology and I also received a Master's degree in Psychiatry."

The titles themselves didn't mean much to her, but she could tell he was an accomplished and dignified man. With all that accomplishment, he made himself a teacher.

"You run a school?"

"Yes, I have quite an eclectic group of students. They are all very gifted, but many are also very troubled and lost. I provide them a safe place to embrace their identity and gifts and teach them how to work as a team."

"It sounds like a wonderful place." She said softly. The students all sound just like her Loki: gifted, and so very lost.

"It can be."

"So you're going to help Loki…at this school?" she asked, uncertain she wanted the answer.

"Well, I haven't quite decided yet. Thor said Loki had some questions and before I allow him to stay there, I needed to see for myself what I'd be dealing with."

Frigga nodded in understanding. Of course he did. While Frigga knew Loki would never harm a child, that didn't mean her son wouldn't exploit his first opportunity and pick up where he left off in his quest for vengeance and a crown.

When they reach their destination, Thor is waiting with a special chair for their own wounded warriors. Dismounting her horse, she watched Thor help Charles from the saddle into the chair.

"Ah, thank you," Charles said, studying intently the contraption he found himself in, "It floats…"

"Yes, right this way." She said urgently, leading them to her chambers where she meets with her son.

Thor had fallen in step behind them, silent and stoic, but she knew when her son was frightened. Loki hadn't held back when he unleashed his venom, and no one was more injured than Thor. She knew Loki was lying when he said she wasn't his mother, but it still hurt to hear it. Beyond the physical pain, it was his own brother that landed the blow. But he's never given up hope, and now that their hopes may be realized; she, too, fears that this will all be for nothing.

"How does it float?" came Charles' voice, cutting into her thoughts.

"I'm not sure of the exact science but something to do with air propulsion and the forces of gravity…" Frigga said quickly, obviously distracted as they reached the roaring fire. "Here we are…"

The Professor suddenly looked nervous.

"Will I be going down to the dungeons?"

"No, I will send a projection of you to Loki's cell. It will be safer for you, and no one else will see it." Frigga explained.

"A projection, like a hologram – that can interact in real time?" the professor asked incredulously.

"I suppose so…" Frigga answered hesitantly. "Now you just sit there, and I will send you to my son."

* * *

It was strange the way it felt, to have his conscious mind in one place, but to feel his body in another. A man jumped from his bed when Charles appeared in his cell. Though, the man before him was a far cry from the one who invaded New York only last year. His hair was longer and unkempt, he looked haunted and downright weary.

"You must be Loki."

The man nodded tersely with wide eyes, "And you are?"

"Professor Charles Xavier, I believe Thor told you about me." He was about to extend his hand, but then remembered that this body wasn't physical.

"He did." Loki replied, his eyes squinting with suspicion, "You're not…how I pictured you."

"Oh, and how's that?"

"Another well-muscled brute who would subdue me if needed," came the immediate reply. Charles was quite certain that Loki was only surprised at his handicap, but hearing those words confirmed that Loki was frightened, perhaps even of his brother.

"The only subduing I will do will be of the mind…" Charles replied. His words didn't seem to help Loki relax at all. If anything, they set him more on edge. "Thor also said you had some questions for me…" he prodded, hoping to get an answer.

When he was met with only silence, he tried his third option, "Your mother is fine, by the way, she's the one who sent me here…well, kind of."

"Why do you think I care about her?" Loki snapped, suddenly alive with anger.

"Your thoughts center on her, quite intensely."

"You're reading my mind?" Loki began to pace, the blood flushing the pale skin of his face.

"You weren't answering my questions."

"Thor didn't tell me you could read minds. What else are you snooping around for? The scepter? Go back and tell my _brother_ –"

"I am sorry to have upset you." Charles interrupted, quite loudly. Loki stared at him, either shocked by the force of his voice, or shocked at his arrogance to interrupt a god. "I sought only what was on your mind. Your mother was it. I know nothing of a scepter. When Thor and I spoke, he asked only for help for you…whatever help I was willing to give."

At this, Loki seemed to deflate, the wild fire gone from his eyes. Charles exhaled deeply, slightly shaken at seeing how deep the rage was rooted, and just how volatile. _Not unlike Erik_ …

"He said you had conditions…" Loki stated in a clipped voice.

"Yes, if you allow it, I would build barriers in your mind, suppress dangerous impulses and isolate certain memories if needed. You would also need to accompany to my school."

"And why would you help me? Why would you want me among your school of children?" his voice had taken on a maniacal tone as he paced the small space. Charles was careful how he answered.

"When a soldier is wounded, do they patch him up and leave him in the midst of battle?" There was a flash in Loki's eyes, something that connected to the words that Charles had spoken.

"I'm not a soldier," Loki stated glibly.

"No, but I dare say, you have been wounded. Asgard is your battlefield, how can one expect you to heal in such conditions."

"Some would argue I do not deserve to heal." There was such venom in his voice as he said the words with a calm disassociation. Charles doesn't have to read his mind to know that on some level, Loki believed it to be true.

 _So you admit you need healing_ … he wanted to say, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Loki, let's just say that I'm in the business of helping and providing safety for exceptional people."

"Exceptional?"

"Currently, I have a young girl who can walk through walls, a young man who can control fire, another who can control ice, a woman who can command the weather, and another man who has metal built into his bones who cannot die due to his ability to heal…among many others."

This seemed to spark Loki's curiosity as he finally turned back to face him, like a child drawn to a bright new toy.

"Is it magic?"

"No. We are mutants. By this I mean that while we are human, we are the next step of human evolution and we have special gifts that accompany this."

He considered this, and after several long moments of contemplation lifted his eyes to meet his. "Would I be able to keep my magic?"

While Charles did have more than his fair share of reservations, none of his students lost their power while they were in his care. Nor would he ever ask them to. Jean was the rarest of exceptions. But Loki wasn't quite in the same boat as Jean, and Charles saw no reason to deprive him of it.

"So long as you don't intend to harm anyone with it."

"Will you…will you stay out of my head, and swear never to control my mind…"

"I swear I will never read your mind without your permission, and I will never control it unless you are about to harm yourself or someone else. Nor will I tell anyone what we discuss in private." Loki nodded, seeming to expect and even accept the stipulation.

"Will I be in a cell?"

"No, you will have a room of your own,"

"And how long will you keep me there?"

Charles sighed and lifted his hand, "Loki, you will not be my prisoner. It will take as long as it takes for you to trust me, for me to figure out what damage has been done and how best to help you. But I would need to build the barriers in your mind before we left here, and that would require me to enter your mind."

The hope that had been in his eyes for the briefest of moments began to fade, and eventually died.

"I don't know why we are even discussing this. Odin will never let me leave."

"Let me worry about that." Charles replied. Loki stopped pacing, standing right before him.

"These barriers…will they remove my memories?" he asked, looking truly terrified as he stared at him.

"No, I will simply alter what your conscious mind is aware of. The memories will still be there when their time has come to be dealt with."

"Then tell my brother I will accept your terms…"

"I shall…" Charles smiled, unable to explain why he was so elated that Loki agreed to his help. He looked down for a button to press to turn it off, but found none. "Now, how do I…beam back up…?"

Loki scoffed, reached out his hand and passed it through his arm. Charles was back in his body, alone by the fireplace to watch Loki's illusion fade.

"Oh, this has been an experience I shall never forget." He said excitedly. Thor and Frigga came rushing in from the balcony.

"Did Loki give you his answer?" Thor asked, breathless and guarded.

"Yes, he has agreed to your terms."

"Oh, thank the Norns." Frigga threw her arms around her son, laughing and crying as she clutched him. Thor hugged her in return, but there was little joy on his face.

"Do not celebrate yet, Mother. We must tell Father of our plan." Frigga pulled away with a deep breath, steeling herself with hard determination.

"Let me deal with Odin."

The screaming echoed in his mind, and Charles was unsure if it was just him that could hear them, or if they really were just that loud. Thor stood silent beside him, far and away in his own thoughts. If he heard his parents at all he gave no indication, or perhaps it was so normal he didn't even notice anymore. Charles considered reading his mind, but decided against it.

Frigga returned with her head held high; the man he assumed to be Odin at her side. He didn't even look at them as he stormed by, wearing a permanent scowl.

"Thor, to the throne room." Odin said, without slowing down, "And bring the mortal!" Thor heaved a heavy sigh, and Charles followed just behind him to throne room.

"What is the meaning of this?!" the King's voice echoed in the hall. Thor had kept his head down as they walked, but here, Thor lifted his head and his entire demeanor changed. No longer the scolded son, but a true prince and heir to the throne.

"Father, I understand Loki needs to be punished for his crimes, but not like this. Leaving him in the dungeons will make things worse long before they make them better."

"It doesn't matter; Loki will never be free to exact his vengeance." Odin snapped.

"If I may…" Charles interjected.

"You may not." came the sharp reply.

"Odin, this man has travelled a long way to help our son." Frigga interjected.

"On earth, we have doctors who study the effects that social and solitary isolation have on the brain." Charles continued despite the king's order, "The lack of physical activity, the lack of interaction with the natural world and with other people; the lack of visual stimulation and the lack of touch, have all been proven – by _themselves_ – sufficient to dramatically alter the brain. The severity of the damage depends on whether the isolation was a brief or extended period of time, and by extended, I mean _days_. So if that is the case with just one of those conditions, imagine the damage that will be done after decades and centuries with all of them combined."

"Our minds are not as weak as yours…" Odin huffed.

Charles sighed and sat back in his chair, "I'm beginning to realize where your son gets his superiority complex from."

"You met Loki for all of two minutes; you cannot tell me you know my son or what he needs."

"That is true, but the only genuine emotion Loki showed was fear, and it was most visible when he asked if I was going to control his mind, lock him in a cell, or remove his power from him."

"That's because he uses his power to exploit people to get his way and I will not give in, not now!"

"Loki will die long before his time if you keep him here." Charles stated solemnly.

"Father, please…" Thor pleaded, "He is still my brother."

"Enough! I will not be strong-armed to change my decision, nor will I allow you to make me feel guilty for it."

It would be so easy, to just enter his mind and make the king release Loki. He wouldn't, god only knows what hell that could unleash between their realms. But it was tempting and it would be so easy.

"Then why not just murder your son now and be done with it, if it his death you truly wish for?" Charles challenged him.

"I do not wish for his death!"

"Then allow me to help him!"

Odin settled back in the throne as the echoes of their voices died around them.

"If we cannot control him, how do you expect to?" the King asked, almost calmly.

"Before we leave here today, I will put the safeguards in his mind in place."

Odin looked around helpless, pacing like a caged lion.

"Guards!" a small band of guards entered the doorway, "Bring the prisoner Loki to me, and make sure he is chained!"

Not a word was spoken among them as they waited. Odin, like Thor, paced back and forth, neither of them looking at each other – or anyone else. Frigga spared him a reassuring smile now and again, but she remained close to Thor, her eyes filled with a host of emotions ranging from pride to sadness. It had obviously taken a great deal of courage for Thor to go against his father, and she didn't hide how proud she was.

The chains rattling echoed through the marble halls, announcing that Loki was here.

"Well, well, well, here we are again – one big happy family." Loki quipped, voice laced with sarcasm.

"Loki, enough…" Thor said wearily.

"I've only just started."

"You, my _son_ , are being released into the care of this man here. Try to show a little gratitude." Odin interjected with a bitter tone.

Loki actually stopped, confused as he glared at the King. "Y-you…you mean you're actually letting me go?"

"For now. But Loki, if you make one misstep, if you pull another stunt or harm a single life while you are there know that I will make you live to regret the day I saved your life."

In a flash, that steel cold detachment returned, "I already do."

Odin was taken aback by such a bitter statement, but he thankfully said nothing.

"Loki, lay here…" Charles said softly.

"On the banquet table…?"

"It will be easier for me to do what I have to do." Loki sighed, the chains dragging as he sat on the edge of the table.

"Will I remember anything when you are done?"

"Of course, I'm not removing your memories, I'm just blocking the more dangerous impulses from your conscious mind." Charles explained once more.

"Do they have to be here?" Loki asked, motioning to his family.

"Yes."

Loki sighed, lying with difficulty on the table, his chains a heavy weight to lift from the ground.

"Now, I'm going to place my hands on each side of your head. Try to relax your mind; I'm not going to hurt you." Charles said as he set his hands beside Loki's head, "Close your eyes…"

"Do I have to?"

"No, but…" Charles paused, realizing then just how anxious Loki was, "No. Are you ready?"

Loki nodded with a deep intake of breath.

Charles closed his eyes, navigating through the maze of Loki's mind, overcome by the sheer despair within it. _Loneliness, betrayal, rage, fear…torture…_ A luminescent blue light caught his eye, and he followed it to the place that Loki fears, a type of doorway in his mind – a way in for the Chitauri. Closing the door, Charles blocks it from his mind. Loki's body trembled as Charles worked through the year of his exile, before Thanos found him, watching the equivalent of a mentally unstable teenager live on the edge of his wits in the most violent parts of the universe. Charles isolates the memories, but doesn't remove them.

But what he didn't find in the mind of this ' _madman_ ' is the desire to kill anyone – least of all his brother. There is plenty of jealousy toward Thor and hatred toward his father, which in his own professional opinion is entirely justified. But after all this, Loki still desires little more than his freedom, his magic, and the love and acceptance of his family.

Opening his eyes, Charles pulled his hands away, "How do you feel?"

"I don't know." Loki whispered, and Charles is sure no one else heard him. Loki sat up, dazed and lost as he looked around. "I feel kind of…empty."

"If they remove your chains, will you hurt anyone?" Charles asked.

"No."

"Guards…" commanded Odin, and the guards rushed forward to remove them. Silence fell over the room as Frigga and Thor stepped closer, the atmosphere heavy with the hope that it might have worked.

"Loki…" Frigga whispered, her eyes brimming with tears as she reached out.

"Mother…" but he couldn't look her in the eyes. She hugged him, pulling him close and tight. He hid his face in the crook of her neck, hugging her more tightly with each second that passed. Charles wondered just how long it's been since he's received comforting, positive touch, fairly certain it's been years.

" _Thank you."_ The words formed on her lips as she smiled at him, but no sound escapes her.

"We will escort you to the rainbow bridge…" Odin said, his voice defeated, or perhaps even sad. Reluctantly, Frigga released her son. Loki kept his face down, his emotions hidden. He didn't release her arm, though, walking in unison beside her.

The horseback ride was quiet, but the ominous feelings of dread had been replaced with a kind of a hope. Odin rode alone in front, Loki and Thor behind him at each other's sides, and Frigga beside him, far behind them.

"There were tears in your eyes, Professor…" she said, staring at her sons, "Did you see what my son experienced…where he was?"

"I did. But I promised Loki I would not betray anything he tells me in confidence. If he tells you anything, it must be his choice, in his time."

She nodded in silent understanding, "I will never be able to repay you if you restore my son to me. We will remain forever in your debt. If you ever have need of anything…"

He stopped her, "Thank you. It won't be necessary, but thank you."

* * *

Thor couldn't form words that described what he was feeling. But for the first time, it was a good feeling, one that he wanted to hold on to. Loki was beside him, unchained and ungagged, silent, but not trying to kill him. Not trying to escape. It was anyone's guess how this would play out, but Thor couldn't help but smile.

"Thor…" came Loki's quiet voice, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Do you feel different?"

"Yes and no. It's difficult to explain."

"Then do not try. We will talk, brother, when the time is right for you. I would have you by my side again, and if that is too much to hope for, I would at least have us reconciled."

Loki finally looked at him, "You truly never gave up hope?"

"I could never give up on you Loki, not truly. But there have been times when I was overcome with helplessness."

"Heimdall!" Odin greeted, dismounting his horse. They all followed suit, and Thor again helped Charles down and with the help of Loki, they held him up between them. Heimdall opened the bifrost.

"My Prince, the answer to your question is Bucharest, Romania." The gatekeeper said.

"Thank you, Heimdall." Thor replied. It wasn't exact, but it was a place for the Captain to start.

"Is this what you see everyday?" Charles asked, taking in the view of the cosmos.

"I see that and more." Heimdall replied, smiling to himself as he set his eyes to the horizon.

"Magnificent. Simply magnificent." Charles breathed in wonder.

"Oh my Loki," Frigga said, pulling her son into one last hug. "I love you so much, my son."

"Even now?"

"Especially now." She pulled back, cupping his cheek with her hand, "Use this time wisely, and when you are ready, I will see you again." Loki nodded, gripping her hand against his cheek as if he couldn't bear to lose that connection.

"Take care of my son…" were the only words Odin said. Thor bit his tongue at Odin's sudden use of the word 'son'. Now was not the time.

And with that, they returned to the spot they left from, Charles' chair still waiting for him. Though night had fallen, it was a full moon, and there was just enough starlight for them to see by.

"Where are we?" Loki asked, looking around the clearing.

"New York." Charles replied.

"Really?" he asked, looking to Thor.

"Really…" Thor couldn't help but smile, "Don't worry. We are far from the city. I will have to bring you both back separately."

"Thor, allow me…" Charles pulled out his cell phone, "Scott, yes, I'm here picking up that new student. Send the jet to my coordinates, will you? Thank you."

"Jet?" Thor asked.

"Yes, we have our own jet. I don't trust the government." Charles said, tucking his phone away.

"I like you already." quipped Loki.

It seemed like barely a few moments had passed before the jet appeared over the tree line and landed in the clearing.

"They're here already?" Loki asked, and Thor didn't miss the hint of anxiety in his voice.

"Indeed, we aren't too far from the school. Shall we?" Charles said as the ramp was extended. Thor pushed him aboard as Loki followed close behind. For the first time in too long, Thor didn't fear his brother would plunge a blade into his back.

"Isn't that Thor, and the guy who tried to take over the world?" The female pilot asked.

"That's the new student?!" Scott demanded.

"Everyone relax. Yes it is Thor and this is Loki. This is Jean and Scott," Charles said as he locked his chair in place, "Loki has agreed to allow me to help him. Now, take us home please, Scott." The man turned around, and for several seconds, didn't do anything. Thor began to fear the worst – that Loki would be rejected no matter where he went, and not even Thor would blame them. But the man collected himself, and soon they were in the air.

Thor can't remember the last time he'd seen Loki look so small and frightened. He hadn't even seen his brother do a single act of magic yet. Loki had been uncharacteristically quiet since they left Asgard. There was no malice in eyes, no contempt or even mischief. His head was kept down, perhaps in shame or fear, but Thor couldn't help but grow concerned. The jet landed in the ground, and Loki was slow to get up.

"This is the garage where Scott teaches auto-mechanics, and below is obviously where we keep the jet. If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your room." Charles explained as they walked through. Thor and Loki stood side by side, looking suspiciously at the group.

"It's called an elevator, and it's going to take us upstairs." Jean said, "It's perfectly safe." When they spared each other a glance, still skeptical, Scott scoffed.

"You attacked New York in spaceships, but you've never seen an elevator?"

"Scott…" came Charles' stern voice. Thor stepped on first, and Loki was reluctant to follow. It was a small space, made even smaller by the presence of all them in here. It was fast, much faster than he'd anticipated and it made his stomach turn.

"I think I prefer to use the stairs," Loki said, stepping off as soon as he was able. He clutched his stomach, breathing in deeply as he looked around. "This school looks like a house…"

"That's because it is a house; I grew up here."

"Good night, Professor." Scott said, barely waiting for a response before heading in the opposite direction down the hall.

"Good night, Professor." Jean said, "Loki, welcome to the school." Loki only nodded in thanks and Thor smiled to her as she passed him.

"Good night, Jean," Charles replied, resuming his tour. "The children are all asleep, you can meet them tomorrow. They all have classes, I try to give them as normal an environment as I can, but you won't be needing those. You and I will spend some time getting to know one another, Loki. Ah, here we are…"

Charles stopped his chair outside the door, as Loki switched on the light. He stepped in carefully, as if expected a team of assailants to attack him.

"Well it certainly is a step up from that cell." Loki said, taking in his surroundings.

"Will I be permitted to visit?" Thor asked, still in the hallway with the professor.

"That's up to Loki." Both men looked to the God of Mischief.

"When I feel up for a visit, I'll get a message to you." Thor nodded, it was better than he dared hope for.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone a moment. Good night, Loki." Charles said.

"Good night, thank you again for this." Loki called, but Xavier was already down the hall. Thor stepped inside as Loki collapsed to the edge of the bed.

"Are you alright, Loki?"

"I'm oddly…nervous." Thor risked stepping closer and sat on the mattress beside his brother, just as they had done in their youth.

"Why?"

"I feel stripped naked – vulnerable, or something. I don't like it."

"Brother, you have been guarded for too long. Perhaps some vulnerability will be good for you. I look forward to when I am permitted a visit."

Loki quirked a smile, "I imagine, if this works, we'll both have some owning up to do."

"I look forward to it." It wasn't lost on Thor that he just called Loki brother, and he hadn't retaliated with venom and hatred. He wondered exactly what memories the professor tampered with. "Will you permit me to hug you?"

Loki nearly laughed, "You never hug me."

Thor chuckled, but his brother's words stung, as if affection had never existed between them. So instead, he brought his hand to cup the back of Loki's neck in that familiar gesture.

"I will see you soon, brother. Never doubt that I love you, and I will be here in a heartbeat if you need me."

"Sentiment…" Loki said in jest, but Thor could hear the emotion that clouded his voice.

"Take care, brother." Thor said, and Loki nodded with a sad smile as Thor left the room. Charles' voice echoed in his mind, leading him back to the study where they first spoke.

"Thor, I already told your mother I wouldn't tell her what Loki confided in me. I just wanted to tell you that I believe you're right, Loki wasn't in full control of his mind. Whether they had full or only partial control, I won't know without further questioning, but I wanted you to know that."

Thor couldn't even begin to express his relief and gratitude, yet still cautious that this may blow up in all their faces. Namely his.

"Is he alright? He's been so quiet." Thor asked.

"It can be a shock to have someone else crawling around your conscious mind. But…you said it yourself; Loki's mind is a battlefield. There is damage I'm not sure can be undone, and his mind goes back over a thousand years and I've barely scratched the surface. This will not be easy, especially for Loki, and it will take considerable time."

"I am confident if any man can accomplish it, it will be you, Professor." Thor smiled, "I will have Jane Foster call you tomorrow with her contact information, should you need to get a hold of me, she knows how."

"Be safe, Thor," Charles said with a kind smile.

"You as well." Thor left him in peace, lifting one more prayer to the Norns as he headed home to Jane to explain his actions.

* * *

Loki lay in the comfortable bed, staring up at the ceiling. It wasn't much bigger than his cell, but it was warm and inviting and it lacked the overly bright lights that drove him mad. He wanted to leave the door open as it was, but he knew he should close it for privacy. He feared to close it, that as soon as he did the locks would engage on the outside and he would be as trapped in here as he was there. He couldn't relax.

This was all a dream, a cruel manifestation of his subconscious mind. Odin would never have let him leave. But no, it was real; he knew in his bones that it was real. It was he that felt false, felt unfamiliar in his own skin. His memories were still there, and the emotions weren't gone, they were just beyond his reach. All the anger that drove him – the rage – was silent. He felt numb, detached from his own body.

Restless, he went outside. He can't remember the last time he saw the stars – even if they weren't his own. It wasn't as breathtaking as the view from Asgard, but it was wide open and he was breathing fresh air. He wasn't about to complain.

"So, you must be Loki…" Loki spun on his heel toward the gruff voice in the shadows, ready to fight.

"Who's asking?"

"Name's Logan," the man said, stepping into the light. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, "Professor told me you might be coming."

"Did he?" Loki replied intrigued, stepping closer, "And what else did he tell you?"

"To play nicely." There was a definite threat in his words and Loki smiled. This man seemed to be too old to be a student, but he didn't think he was a teacher, either.

"Are you a student of his?"

"Of sorts…" the man crushed what he was smoking beneath his boot, "Listen bub, I don't beat around the bush, Lord knows I wasn't the nicest guy when I arrived here and while I have done things in my past I ain't proud of, trying to take over New York wasn't one of 'em. These kids are innocent, so whatever shit you'll be working out in your brain, you keep the fallout away from them…" Loki startled as the claws ripped through the skin of his hands, "Or you'll answer to me."

 _Fascinating_ , "You must be the man that can't die…"

"That's right…"

"Neither can I…" Loki said, suddenly behind him. Logan turned, bringing the claws to Loki's neck. The illusion faded and Loki laughed behind him as Logan looked back and forth, obviously confused and unappreciative of Loki's illusion.

"Are you a teleporter?"

"No, I just have a vast array of _tricks_ up my sleeve." Loki smiled, clasping his hands behind his back. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Logan, but I think I'll retire now." Perhaps this wouldn't be as dull as he feared.


	2. Chrysalis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First, thanks to everyone who left kudos/commented/bookmarked this fic. I truly appreciate your feedback :)) Sorry for the delay of this chapter. I love this story and I am having a blast writing it, but there are some heavy themes and emotions and I want to make sure I get it right before posting, so updates may be slow and for this I sincerely apologize. This chapter was really difficult for me, not due to any content within, but just that I'm trying to establish baseline's for everyone and where Loki is emotionally/mentally. It's kinda dialogue heavy and nothing major happens, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Feel free to review :))

Chrysalis _(def.: a protecting covering; a sheltered state or stage of being or growth)_

* * *

 

_His body felt crushed with the dense weight of all that surrounded him, as though he was being ripped apart by the sheer force of gravity pulling him down to his death. It took too long to fall, long enough to hear Thor’s screams, but not his father’s. No, Odin hadn’t reacted to his fall at all. As he reached the yawning vortex, Thor’s screams stopped and his own screams began – a violent journey to the far reaches of the universe._

_He was suspended on nothingness, with no idea where in space or time he’d been brought to. It wasn’t anywhere in the World’s Tree, he could tell, no longer able to feel the branches of Yggdrasil. The dry air was a fiery, metallic ash, arresting his lungs in fine particles that stole his breath away. It seemed a cosmic joke, to be brought all this way just die alone in a velvet blanket of stars._

_So he closed his eyes, sailing weightless through the vast blackness, waiting to die. And he waited, and he kept waiting. Death didn’t come. How long he drifted, be it hours or years, he couldn’t know, though the latter felt more accurate. There was no telling where he was going; time and direction were as meaningless now as his life had become._

_The darkness that cradled him, the silence that surrounded him – it became a comfort. There was no rigid life to lead, saying and doing all the right things. There was no competition to be the best or the strongest, he would never have to see Thor destroy Asgard as its king. He was blissful in his newfound freedom to not care. After all this time, Loki finally experienced a measure of peace. To be rescued now would be a cruel punishment, unless death claimed him first._

_Then suddenly, something changed. It was a subtle thing, something he may never have noticed if the space around him wasn’t so constant. A gentle hum traveled the currents of electric air that surrounded him, interrupting his peace and quiet. Loki was keenly aware that in this dark corner of the universe, he was no longer alone._

_The leather of his clothing seemed to melt, adhering to his body before he felt another gravitational pull. Heat boiled his chilled Jotun blood and Loki was sure he was dying, screaming in agony._

His eyes snapped open, staring at the ceiling in unfamiliar surroundings. He lay frozen, afraid to stir as he tried to take a deep breath, or any breath, just to get some air in his lungs. He closed his eyes, his hands fisting the sheets until he coughed softly and finally he could breathe. _It was just a dream_ , he reminded himself as he took deep, quiet breaths, careful not to disturb anyone. If he could meld with the mattress beneath him, vanish inside it he would do it in an instant.

The bed was comfortable but it felt the same as the one in his cell, like something that wasn’t permanent and could be taken away at a moment’s notice. The door was closed and locked, a point that agitated him even though he is the one who locked it. He didn’t want to feel confined, but to leave it open would allow anyone to look in on him, just like at the dungeons. He relished his privacy, having lost it for…well, he’s not even certain how many years. Then, Thanos and the Other invaded his mind, taking away the privacy of his own mind. There wasn’t a thought he could think that they weren’t aware of.

Yet here, hadn’t he allowed Xavier to do the very same thing? To come into his mind and sift through and pick what would be useful and not? But Thanos’ voice was gone, as was the Others’, and Charles Xavier’s voice hadn’t replaced theirs in his head. They were his own thoughts, confused and jumbled and paranoid as they were, but they were his… _he thinks_.

There was silence, eerie, overwhelming silence, and in a school of children was that not a bad sign? Even the dungeons had been more alive than this. It was unbearable, uncomfortable; leaving him alone with nothing but the torment of his thoughts. Although, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin was perhaps the most familiar feeling of them all.

If there was ever a time when he’d woken without the nagging thoughts of inadequacy, fear, jealousy, bitterness, and rage, he’d long forgotten it. The rage fed him, drove his actions and gave him a clear goal and purpose. Without that he felt listless; adrift once more amongst the stars, engulfed in the cold, dark nothingness of space. Part of him feared that at any moment he would wake up in that cell, still a prisoner forgotten underground.

Pressing his hands to his eyes he took a breath, asking himself again just why he had done this. He was desperate of course, and it gained him freedom from that cell, but he felt even more lost now than he did before. Even though the Professor promised him that he didn’t mess with his memories, Loki couldn’t help but feel he’d lost something substantial, something he couldn’t remember that he’ll never get back.

“Loki? Are you awake?”

He was startled by her voice and the sudden knocking on his door. If he remembered correctly, that was the voice of Dr. Jean Grey. With a heavy sigh he sat up, pushing the blanket from his body to reveal the clothes he’d worn yesterday. It’s not like he had much choice, all his clothing and armor was in Asgard, locked away from him. He opened the door just enough to peek around and make sure it was just her that was waiting for him.

“The Professor asked me to bring you some breakfast…” she said calmly with a tight smile. It wasn’t exactly friendly, but nor did she seem afraid of him. His gaze dropped to the tray in her hands, wincing at the sight of a bowl filled with some unidentifiable lumpy substance. It reminded him of what he was given in the dungeons, a bland gray mixture of ingredients that he still couldn’t identify.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Eggs, toast, oatmeal with milk and sugar, and some orange juice.” She replied.

“I thank you…” Loki took the tray and began closing the door.

“When you’re finished, just bring the tray downstairs. The Professor will meet you there.” He nodded in reply and closed the door.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he inspected the food, smelling it, turning it over as he searched for anything amiss. They easily could have poisoned it or put something in it that would render him powerless. Not sensing anything wrong, he tentatively tasted the oatmeal. It was an odd texture, but sweet and not entirely appalling. He finished the bowl in under a minute, tasting the bread next.

The breads they had on Asgard were freshly made, varied, and far superior to whatever they had just given him. It was flat and bland and not even the butter melted all over it could salvage it. He’s fairly certain eggs can be found in every realm, and though it’s not as seasoned as he’s used to, he’s grateful for a hot meal. After drinking the small glass of orange juice, he picked up his tray and left his room.

The silence gnawed at his already frayed nerves, as if he’d been led to his death and everyone was just lying in wait to jump out from behind the walls and take their turns in torturing and killing him. He reached the staircase without incident and made his descent to the main floor.

“Good morning, Loki. Did you sleep well?” The Professor smiled, wheeling towards him.

“Mostly, I had some…difficulty relaxing.” He admitted, surprised by his own honesty. _Was it rude to admit such a thing to a host?_ The Professor merely nodded with a sympathetic smile.

“Yes, I imagine you did. Hopefully with some time you’ll feel safe here. Please, follow me.” He turned his chair and Loki fell in step beside him as they headed down the long corridor.

“Why is it so quiet?” he asked, keeping his voice down.

“As I told you yesterday, the children are in class during the day. You can meet them at lunch time.”

 _Must I meet them at all?_ He asked, though only in his mind.

“Well you won’t be able to avoid them…” he replied with a slight smile. Loki slowed his pace.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Not out loud. And no, I wasn’t reading your mind, you were broadcasting.” Loki didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he was determined to find a way to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Sorry.”

“Are you nervous to meet them?” Loki nodded stiffly, “Then I’ll make a compromise; I’ll give you all of today to get your bearings and feel a bit more comfortable with the idea.”

“Yes, thank you.” He replied as they arrived in a large open room.

“This is the dining room, everyone eats here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is where you will be tomorrow morning with everyone else. Normally I don’t allow food in the rooms, but I made an exception today.” Charles said with a warm smile, “Now, just leave that tray there and follow me.”

Loki set the tray on the sink, and as they moved through the maze of corridors, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched or followed, “That man, Logan, he is a student of yours?” An intrigued look came over the Professor’s face, a tiny smirk pulling at his lips.

“In a sense, yes. The specifics of his story I will let him share with you if and when he is comfortable doing so, but Logan came to us with no memory of who he was. He is not the friendliest of people, but he is incredibly loyal and if there is ever a fight, you will only ever want him as your ally.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Ah, here we are.” Loki looked up to see where Xavier had stopped them, a feeling of deep peace and joy filling him from the inside out.

“You have a library?”

“Indeed, and you are welcome to read any and all of the books you find here, just so long as you return them in the condition you found them.”

Loki stepped inside, ducking into the closest aisle to the door. His hand reached up, brushing his fingertips along the spines of several books. In this world away from home he was grateful to have found a place so familiar. His mother brought books to his cell, but he had missed the simple pleasure of spending a day lost amongst the endless rows of knowledge. It was his one true solace and solitude as there was hardly ever anyone else in there.

Some spines were thin and others he could tell by their thickness were academic texts; like the tomes he’d studied from as a youth. He doubted he would learn anything from a mortal text, but he found himself curious anyway. A heavy weight settled over him, and his hand slid off the shelf coming to rest at his side. He wasn’t brought here to read.

“So, what now?”

“I was thinking we could meet several times a week to talk. We will go through your memories together and see if we can’t resolve some of these issues. Would you agree to that?”

“You make it sound so simple.” Loki said, his voice small and quiet.

“We both know it’s going to be extremely difficult.” Loki met the Professor’s eyes, surprised that Xavier had acknowledged in some small measure that Loki’s life had not been easy. His eyes, though kind, held a knowing, sad expression that made Loki’s insides turn.

“You saw everything, didn’t you; when you built those barriers in my mind?”

“I saw all I needed to see to know that there is much more to you than meets the eye.”

It made him cringe to know that someone not only knew, but had seen him at his most vulnerable. Had seen him scared out of his mind. Had seen him _broken_. He knew those were the memories Xavier had taken, or hidden. He can still feel their effects as though they had never gone. Not only was he witness to Loki’s downfall and failure, he was a witness now to Loki being a mere shadow of who had been, akin more to a vulnerable, frightened child than a God.

“I still don’t understand why you’re helping me.”

“Come to the window.” Loki followed, and outside sitting in the grass was a circle of children. “These are just a few of my students, most of them are runaways. I found them on the streets, alone – frightened. Some of their families rejected them, some were almost murdered by their own parents, and still others have told their families nothing of who they truly are.”

Something ached deep in his chest, like he understood exactly what those children were going through. He felt it with every fiber of his being, but he just couldn’t remember why. He realized then, that Xavier saw him as one of these damaged children, that’s why he was brought here. A sense of loss and subtle anger came over him.

“I’m not a child.” Loki snapped, turning away from the window.

“Of course you’re not, but you may find that you have more in common with them then you realize.”

“I could leave; vanish.” He threatened, and why he hadn’t done just that was a mystery to him.

“You could, but I don’t think you will.” The Professor said, an edge of amusement to his voice. _Was this funny to him?_ Loki raised his chin in defiance as he straightened his posture, as regal and powerful as a Prince would stand.

“And why is that?”

“You long to belong somewhere – to fit in. It’s the most universal longing. Asgard may be where you were raised, but you never felt part of it. Yet when you discovered your true lineage, you rebelled against it in defense of the life you knew,” he paused, rolling his chair closer, “Give me a chance and let us see if we can’t find such a place where you not only call home, but where your gifts are appreciated and celebrated.”

Loki would never admit he wanted such a thing. He was mocked for his talents, seen as inferior to Thor and learned he was truly inferior when he discovered his true lineage. When he let go of that staff all he wanted was to be left alone, maybe even to die. He had been brought low; humbled. He was no longer a prince. He was no longer anything but a pawn, not wanted by anyone unless he could be useful – a piece in a game he had no joy in playing. In place of whatever power he once felt he possessed, an aching void was all that remained.

Avoiding the man’s knowing gaze, Loki whispered, “It sounds impossible.”

“I’m sure it does. But nothing is impossible so long as we are trying.” A kind of bell startled Loki and suddenly the halls were full of children…and noise. “Now, I have a class to teach. Feel free to explore the library and the grounds as you wish. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Loki nodded, watching as the Professor rolled away. He wandered the aisles, taking in the titles of all the books he passed. When he saw a particularly thick volume, he pulled it from the shelf. He smiled, and rather than stay cooped up in the quiet of the library, he headed out into the warmth of the sun.

* * *

It was a warm enough afternoon that some of the kids were swimming in the pool. Loki was lounging in the shade, reading what appeared to be a text book. Even there, his eyes squinted against the sunlight, and Logan wondered just how long he’d been in prison. It had been a year since the attacks on New York, but he wondered if time moved differently for them. Despite that he had better things to do, _not really, but he also didn’t want to bake in the sun_ , he kept his seat, and kept his gaze across the pool.

After last night, Logan vowed not to let Loki out of his sight if it could be helped. Even his heightened senses couldn’t tell that what stood before him wasn’t real and he didn’t hear a thing when Loki approached from behind him. It wasn’t that Logan felt threatened; he just didn’t feel particularly safe now that Loki was here. When he couldn’t find him this morning a kind of panic gripped him that he hadn’t felt since before coming here. But Loki hadn’t left, Logan realized; after his brief meeting with the Professor he’d altered his appearance to better fit in. He had chosen the body of a teenage boy, blond hair, blue eyes, and just this side of skinny.

It was the fear that Logan could sense all around him that gave the God away. It shocked him to say the least that the maniac who tried to take over the world would be so afraid – so much so that he was hiding even from children. An equally disturbing thought as Logan tried to imagine exactly _what_ could frighten a God so much. He’s certain that Loki has felt or sensed his presence all day, (and it’s not like he’s been inconspicuous just sitting here and staring) but to his credit, Loki hasn’t fled yet. Although if he had, it’s not like they would know until it was too late.

“Hey Logan…” Rogue greeted jovially as she sat on the bench beside him, “Whatcha lookin’ at?” she asked before he could even greet her.

“The new student…”

“Loki? Is he out here?” she asked, looking around to find him.

Logan nodded his chin towards the lounge chair in the shade, “He’s that one over there; he disguised himself as a teenage boy.”

“Huh…clever.” she huffed, not taking her eyes off him. Logan studied her, sensing the excitement that coursed through her from the moment she sat down. It couldn’t be that she was happy Loki was here, or eager to meet him. She probably just got some good news or something and wanted to share it with him.

“He’s dangerous, Rogue. Keep your distance.” He told her anyway, just in case. She flashed her brightest smile as she leaned closer to his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, sugar, you’ll always be my favorite.”

“Stop.” He grumbled through what could almost be considered a laugh. He didn’t consider it flirting; she had never held back her affection for him and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I was on my balcony last night; couldn’t sleep. I heard the whole thing between you two…” she told him with a wry smile, the way she did when she was trying to get away with something, “Maybe it ain’t that Loki’s dangerous, he just don’t like bein’ threatened…like someone else I know.”

“Don’t compare me to him,” He gruffed, “And that doesn’t mean he can be trusted.”

“I’m not saying it is, but you weren’t exactly Mr. Friendly when you arrived either. They gave us _both_ a chance and if the Professor brought him here, then he must know Loki isn’t going to hurt anyone or try anything.”

Logan could only nod, letting her words sink in. Sometimes he forgot how mature she could be for her young age. Loki’s eyes lifted and glared in their direction before returning his focus to the book. By that small action Logan knew it wasn’t an illusion, Loki was still here. Releasing a heavy sigh he reclined against the bench, and turned his attention to Rogue.

“Was it me in your head last night?” he asked softly. She met his eyes briefly and looked down with a shake of her head.

“No, it was one of Magneto’s memories, actually.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged dismissively, “Ain’t your fault…”

They’ve had this conversation before. It wasn’t his fault, but he felt responsible due to his failure to protect her. It wasn’t like he saved her life, he got there too late. She was dead; lifeless in his arms and her skin harmless to touch. In the end he healed her, but the damage had been done and he couldn’t fix it.

“So what’s got you so chipper today?” he asked, hoping to put a smile back on her face. And it worked.

“I’m going shopping with Storm. Professor said Loki will need some new clothes, so he’s sendin’ us. I almost never get to leave the house. Do you want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”

“Ok, later Logan…” she stood and started walking away.

“Hey, Rogue…” when she turned back to face him he said, “Sunglasses.”

“Huh?”

Logan again nodded his chin in Loki’s direction, “He hasn’t stopped squinting. Get him a pair of sunglasses.”

“Nah, you don’t care at all…” she winked with a smirk and left. He didn’t care, not really. Against his better judgement, he left his post and headed straight for the Professor’s office.

“Logan, what can I do for you?” Xavier smiled behind his desk.

“Why did you bring Loki here, really?” he asked as politely as possible.

“He needed help, and if I could break the link between Loki and an alien tyrant bent on universal domination I thought all the lives saved would be worth it. Loki mentioned you two talked; I assume you’ve been keeping a close eye on him.”

“You assume correctly.” Logan released a heavy sigh, taking a seat across from him, “What’s got him so afraid?”

“A number of things…” he replied vaguely, and Logan can’t say he expected anything less. Obviously the _alien tyrant_ is one thing, but it left Logan curious.

“And you won’t tell me?”

“Logan, all I can or will tell you is that Loki is very much like you when you first arrived here. He’s had his mind and memories tampered with; he’s vulnerable, and he feels entirely alone. He needs people he can trust and he needs people to trust him. It’s like he’s walking a tight rope, the slightest misstep could be catastrophic.”

“But you don’t think he’s dangerous?”

“I believe he is only dangerous when threatened, like someone else I know.”

Logan glared at him, “You’re the second person today to say that to me.”

“Rogue is wise beyond her years…” the Professor said with a smile. Logan nodded in agreement, somehow not surprised that he would guess it was her.

“So, what? You expect me to just become friends with Loki and overlook what he’s done?”

“Hardly, but spending time with him will allow you to keep an eye on him without seeming suspicious. You may not be psychic Logan, but you are perceptive and you can get a sense about people. Don’t pry or spy on him, and don’t report anything back to me. He needs to know this is a safe place, until then, this won’t work.”

Logan nodded in understanding.

“In that case, do you think Loki likes beer?”

* * *

Loki had spent hours in the shade; he had finished two books and had just sat down with his third. The sun still burned his eyes, but he relished the warmth and fresh air and he was not about to waste a moment of it. Once _Logan_ had ceased his spying, Loki felt safe enough to return to the library and choose a new book.

“ ‘Scuse me, you’re Loki, right?” came a young girl’s voice. He looked up in surprise, not only that she knew his name, but that she had seen through his disguise. He couldn’t help but notice that she was dressed oddly for the weather: a scarf, gloves, long pants; hardly suitable for the warmth of the day.

“Who are you?” he asked her.

“Name’s Rogue…” she sat down near his feet and he instantly brought his knees up to keep space between them, “The Professor sent us to get you some things. We left the clothes on your bed, but I thought you might like these.” he glared at the item held in her outstretched hand with caution.

“And what are they?”

“Sunglasses. You wear them like this, and they guard your eyes from the sunlight…”

Loki took them warily, inspecting them before putting them on as Rogue demonstrated. Immediately the burning in his eyes faded, and though it dimmed his vision, he sighed in relief.

“Huh…that is so much better. Thank you.”

“Yer welcome.” She smiled, and her gaze dropped to the book in his lap, “Astrophysics? Nothing like a little light reading…” There was a teasing edge to her voice and he felt his defenses weaken.

“Yes, the stars fascinate me. I’m also curious to see how fast mortals are advancing in this field.” He bit his tongue, cursing himself for giving himself away so easily. Not that it mattered with this girl, as she already knew who he was.

“And how are we doing?”

“Well enough, I suppose.” He replied. The humans still had a long way to go, but they had made some impressive strides and were much closer than he’d like to admit.

“You can change back to your normal appearance; just about everyone knows you’re here.” Rogue said softly, as if sharing a secret with him. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt at ease in this young girl’s presence. He couldn’t help but wonder if she understood who he was and what he had done.

“You aren’t afraid of me?” he asked, letting his illusion fall.

She shrugged her shoulders with a crooked smile, “I ain’t afraid of much these days…”

“If I may ask, what is your… _gift_?” he wasn’t sure what they called it, or if it was even proper that he ask about it.

“I wouldn’t call it a gift, but my skin…if anyone touches me I absorb and drain their life force, and in the cases of mutants, I can absorb their mutation as well.” His heart ached for her in that moment, understanding only too well what an isolated and lonely life she would lead as a result. She reminded him instantly of Hela, with the white strands framing her face contrasting against the rest of her long, brown hair. Hela was also a balance of light and dark; life and death.

“The power of life and death is not bestowed on just anyone. You must be very special to wield such an extraordinary power.” He replied, hoping in some small measure to comfort her.

“Never saw it like that before…” her smile was weak and a little sad as she looked away.

“Forgive me, if I’ve offended…this is all very unfamiliar for me.” He fumbled over his words, actually concerned he’d offended a child. _How had he fallen this far?_

“I bet it is, it was unfamiliar for me too when I first got here.” She looked away from him, her gaze settling on the students that played and swam around them. “Some of the students, or I should say most, keep to themselves. They won’t bother you much; we all have our own stuff to deal with. But it is also a school with teenagers who can be judgmental and cynical, so don’t be surprised, or take it personally, if they offend you.”

Loki appreciated her candor, but he couldn’t help but laugh, “I have been alive for over thousand years; I was a prince, I’ve seen universes and places more hostile than you can imagine, I think I can handle a few judgmental teenagers.” Rogue laughed with him, a fact he appreciated that she genuinely didn’t seem to fear him.

“I’m glad to hear it,” She stood from her seat and smiled down at him.

“Well, it was nice to officially meet you. I’ll let you get back to your book. Don’t be a stranger, ya hear?”

“You as well,” he said as walked away. He didn’t quite know what she meant, but he was suddenly eager to find out what other things were waiting in his bedchamber. Not bothering to walk through the building, he used his magic and appeared inside his room. On the bed sat several large bags, and a note was stuck to one of them. He set the book on the comforter, and lifted the note into his hand.

 _You seem to like black and green, hope you like what we bought! If not, we can always exchange it_ – _Rogue_

He couldn’t help but smile at her observation; it also meant that she knew exactly who he was and that didn’t prevent her from being kind to him. _Special, indeed_ … He pulled out several items, but nothing was as heavy and bulky as his armor. There were shirts in varying shades of green, a few black and some even gold. The material of the pants seemed too thin, not at all effective in protecting anything from injury. Loki tried to imagine Thor wearing anything so minimal as this. He suddenly felt like a child, as if he didn’t know how to dress himself.

Removing his tunic, he pulled a dark green shirt with short sleeves over his head. It fit perfectly and not only was it much lighter, the material breathed better than the leather he was accustomed to. As comfortable as it was, it only made him long for his armor even more. Though he was a god and could heal from almost anything, he longed for the protection his armor provided.

Removing his boots, he grabbed a black pair of pants and pulled them on. Once he’d buttoned them they felt uncomfortably tight, leaving him feeling incredibly vulnerable. How humans wore these impractical garments was a mystery to him, and he had half a mind to ask the Professor to obtain a wardrobe similar to his. The suits weren’t any more protective than this, but at least they seemed to earn respect.

Reaching into the next bag was a box, and what appeared to be several pairs of black and white socks. After pulling the black socks on his feet he sat on the edge of his bed and opened the box to find a pair of black boots. He pulled one out, inspecting its intricacies when another knock startled him.

“Who is it?”

“Logan.” Loki groaned inwardly, preparing himself for anything.

“It’s unlocked,” he called softly. The door opened and Logan stepped in. Loki took in the sight of his clothes, particularly his pants and the boots on his feet, trying to commit what it should all look like to memory. The laces in his boots didn’t match the way the laces were done on Loki’s, but he wasn’t about to ask for help – especially not from him.

“Do you want this open or closed?” Loki momentarily panicked at the idea of being alone with Logan in an enclosed space.

“Uh, you can leave it open.” Logan nodded, leaving the door open as he stepped further inside. He didn’t seem as crazy in this light; the lack of his claws made him appear almost calm.

“You, uh, like everything they bought you?” he asked awkwardly.

“Yes, for the most part…” Loki mumbled, tugging at the seams of his pants, “Is there any kind of protection, like armor to wear beneath these…?”

“Nope,”

“I see.” He pulled the boots on his feet, leaving the laces how they were. He’d figure it out later.

“The pants are called jeans, also known as denim,” Logan said, interrupting his thoughts, “And you need to lace up the boots and tie them or they’ll probably slip right off.”

“I knew that, I was just making sure they fit before I went through all the trouble.” Loki bit back defensively, removing the boots once more. The boots on Asgard were simple to slip on and off, warriors were often in a rush and didn’t have time for such intricacies. Without asking for permission, Logan sat on the mattress beside him and took one of the boots from him. Loki felt the rigid tension in his body, but Logan simply unknotted the laces and held them up for Loki to see.

“Like this,” Loki watched and copied as Logan laced up the boot, and also paid attention on how to tie it. It was humiliating to need help with such a thing, but at least it was done.

“Thank you,” Logan just nodded and stood from the bed. Loki was about to ask what he wanted when he spoke again, “Just so you know, it’s ok to admit if you don’t know what something is or you’re not sure how it works. I know you’re not helpless, and you probably feel silly asking for help for something as simple as shoelaces, but you can ask.”

Loki could only nod in reply as he slipped his boots on and tied them, still curious as to what brought Logan here and why he suddenly seemed to want to help him.

“So, you wanna get a beer?”

“A what?”

“A drink; alcohol. I know a place not too far away, all you’ll find here is soda, milk, and juice.” Confusion filled him, he understood what Logan offered, Thor dragged him to plenty of those places in their lives, but he was confused as to why.

“You want to have a drink? With me? In public??” Loki asked incredulously.

“Why not? Especially now that I know you can alter your appearance like that, no one will recognize you.”

“Why not?” Loki repeated, suspicious at the man’s offer. But Xavier’s words echoed in his mind, that he would only ever want Logan as an ally and not an enemy. “Why not…” he said again, this time in agreement. He altered his appearance to resemble but not match Captain Steve Rogers.

“Oh, try to make yourself look older,” Logan said, “This way you don’t get carded.”

“Carded, right…” Loki made the adjustments to match Logan’s age. With a nod of his head, Loki followed Logan back to the garage where he first arrived. Several vehicles as well as bikes filled the space, each one unique from the rest.

“I’m drivin’ – for the same reason you need to look older – you don’t have ID. Plus I doubt they have cars in Asgard,”

“You’re right, nothing but spaceships and teleportation.” Loki said sarcastically.

The ride over was quiet, and he couldn’t decide if Logan was doing this because he wanted to or if he planned to isolate and kill him. He could and would fight back; he just didn’t want to ruin everything on his first day free of the dungeons.

“This is it,” Logan said, pulling the _key_ from the _ignition_. It was a small looking shack with bright, flashing lights in the windows. Loki kept his head down and stayed slightly behind Logan as they stepped inside. It was dimly lit, not unlike the taverns they have in Asgard. There were only a few people seated sparsely throughout the bar, and they were all relatively quiet, unlike the taverns that his brother frequented with the Warriors Three. Loki wasn’t exactly relaxed, but he was grateful for the distraction.

“We’ll take a table, so no one really bothers us.” Logan said, leading them to a quiet corner table by the window. Loki could only follow.

“Evenin’, gentleman, my name is Lisa and I’ll be your server,” she greeted, setting napkins before them, “Can I start you guys with something to drink?”

“Two beers, please, and a basket of peanuts…” Logan ordered.

“Comin’ right up…” Loki averted his eyes when she smiled at him as she turned to fill their order.

“I dare say, Mr. High and Mighty, that you are blushing.”

“I am not.” Loki argued, feeling the warmth flooding his cheeks. Logan only smiled.

“If you didn’t want ladies to notice you, ya shoulda gone with a different face.”

“I’ll remember that for next time,” Loki said. They were interrupted as Lisa set their beers and peanuts on the table.

“Can I get ya anything else?”

“Not right now, thanks.” Logan said. With another smile and nod, she left them alone. Logan picked up a peanut, demonstrating how to eat it. Loki mimicked his actions, and for a moment, didn’t feel like an alien in a new world. They had peanuts on Asgard, but he never had to remove the shells himself. They tasted the same, every bit as salty, but no less delicious.

“Why did you bring me here?” Loki asked, cracking the shell of another peanut.

Logan shrugged, “Just to get out, the mansion can be a little stifling.”

“Why not bring Scott or one of the others?” Loki countered, and Logan huffed so hard it might have been a laugh.

“Scott and I aren’t exactly friends. When I first arrived here he was pretty vocal about wanting me to leave.”

“We have something in common, then.” Loki sipped his beer, nearly choking on it as the taste hit his tongue, “Ugh, what is this vile substance?”

“Beer…”

Loki wiped the edge of his mouth with a napkin, “How can you mortals drink this?”

“Well, we drink for the effect rather than the taste.”

“Perhaps one day you can visit Asgard and I will bring you to a tavern where they will serve us a real drink that doesn’t taste like…well, like _that_.”

“Sounds good,” Logan replied glibly. Loki went back to eating peanuts and decided to change the subject.

“Rogue seems like quite an incredible young woman…” Loki could feel the error of his words the moment Logan locked eyes with his.

“What’s that mean?”

“Just that she seems quite…incredible?” he repeated hesitantly.

“She is, but keep your distance. I don’t want her hurt.”

Loki nodded in understanding; it wasn’t the words he used to describe her, it was that he said them _about_ Rogue. It made him curious to know what happened between them, or why Rogue seemed to be special to this rough and brash man.

“You have nothing to fear from me on that score…” Loki assured him, “She reminds me of someone.”

“Well, whoever she reminds you of, don’t get them mixed up. She’s got enough to deal with…” Before Loki could even respond, Logan asked, “Are you hungry? I’m starving…”

It was then Loki realized he’d missed lunch, and he’d miss dinner as well now that he was here.  “Yes, I could eat.”

The waitress came back over at Logan’s signal and took their order, a burger and fries for each of them and a root beer for Loki. He wasn’t sure he wanted to eat whatever it was, but he had little choice.

“So, your power, it’s magic?” Logan asked.

“Yes, seiðr is what it’s called on my realm…”

“What else can you do? Could you Jedi mind trick me?”

“Jedi mind trick? Sounds like something your Professor would do.” Loki replied cautiously, suspicious this was a trap.

“Well I know what movie we’ll be watching this week.”

Loki nodded, again feeling inferior for not understanding something that sounded like it should be simple. He wasn’t sure what a movie was, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Logan would show him eventually.

“My powers manipulate energy and the four natural elements: earth, air, fire, and water,” he explained, “I can cast illusions as you saw last night and what you see before you now. I can also become another creature entirely, an animal, for example. And to answer your question, no, I can’t _Jedi mind trick_ anyone.”

“But in New York, didn’t you brainwash the men that helped you?” Normally Loki would have taken offense and lashed out at his words. But there was no judgement in Logan’s voice, just an honest question.

“That was the mind stone. I had the ability to wield it, but none can truly control or understand its power.” Uncomfortable with this line of questioning, he turned the tables, “And you? Were you born with the claws in your hands?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I was born with the ability to heal. The claws were someone else’s idea.” Loki froze at the implications, meeting the man’s gaze.

“But you wanted them?”

“No. I only remember what they did to me, I remember waking up.” Logan drank the last of his beer, and turned his head toward the window.

Loki could only stare at the man before him. He knows he had suffered at the hands of Thanos and the Other, he just couldn’t access the memories. But for all that he suffered, he couldn’t even begin to imagine exactly how anyone could build metal into a man’s bones – or why. He shivered at the idea of the agony of it all, especially knowing Logan wasn’t a willing participant. Other than being a bit gruff, Logan seemed so normal. He never would have guessed he survived something so terrifying.

“So you guys – gods – can’t die?” Logan asked, quite abruptly.

“Of course we can. We can die in battle, but our natural lifespan runs about five thousand years – give or take. How long have you been alive?”

“I’m not entirely sure. The Professor thinks I may be older than him.” Logan huffed, taking Loki’s beer to replace his own, “And I’ll tell ya, sometimes, being immortal really sucks…”

“I couldn’t agree more…” Loki said. It was a morbid thought, but one that was as honest as he’d ever been. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to die; he just didn’t want to be in pain anymore. Logan, he suspects, understands that better than anyone.

“Here ya go, guys. Enjoy.” Lisa said, setting their meals before them.

“Thank you,” they replied in unison.

“Would you like me to clear these away for you?” she asked him. Loki looked down to the mess of cracked shells on a plate, not even realizing how many peanuts he’d eaten. Perhaps he had underestimated his hunger.

“Yes, thank you.” She smiled at him again, and this time he returned it without averting his eyes. As she left, he took a tentative sip of his root beer, deciding he preferred that over whatever Logan had ordered for them. Loki again waited, watching as Logan poured a red, somewhat thick substance over his fries and on the bread of the burger.

“It’s called ketchup, it makes things taste a little better,” Logan explained as he brought it to his mouth. Loki sampled the fries first, which tasted fine, but he added some ketchup just as Logan had. It had a sweet yet slightly bitter taste, and Loki added it to his burger as well and lifted the heavy stack of bread and meat into his hands.

It wasn’t barbaric; Asgard is, after all, a hunting culture. They have plenty of foods eaten by hand, but it never seemed to make quite the mess these burgers were making. It was a new experience, and simple though it was, he couldn’t help but appreciate the time Logan was taking to allow him such pleasantries.

Loki could feel Logan watching as he took his first bite.

“Well?”

“It’s um, quite good.” He licked the juice surrounding his lips before taking another bite.

“Huh, imagine that – a God enjoying a burger and fries.” Logan smiled and sat back against the booth.

Loki couldn’t help but smile, if only Thor could see him now. Thor would never believe Loki had come to a bar, drank beer and ate burgers with what he hopes is a _new_ friend, someone that wasn’t friends with his brother first. So often Thor would invite Loki with him and the Warriors Three, and while they all got along, they were always Thor’s friends. It’s why Loki had taken to spending so much time alone.

“You ok?” came Logan’s voice.

“Hmm? Oh yes, sorry, I was just thinking of my brother. He loves places like this,” Loki stopped, realizing that’s the first time he’s referred to Thor as his brother in years. It didn’t fill him with rage; it felt entirely natural, yet even that seemed wrong.

“But you don’t?” Loki lifted his eyes at Logan’s prodding.

“It’s not that I don’t, I just…I learned to appreciate my solitude.” He set the burger down, picking up a fry and using it push other fries around the basket. “Can…can the Professor be trusted?”

Logan held his gaze for several intense moments, before giving a slight nod, “Yea, you can trust him.”

“He said you came to him with no memories…” Loki clarified.

“That’s right.”

“Well, how do you know he didn’t alter them or remove them all together?”

“Because I remember all the years I was lost and wondering around before he found me.” “It’s not easy, not knowing who you are or what you’ve been through. I know the Professor knows more than he’s telling me –”

“And you’re alright with that, being kept in the dark concerning your own mind?” Loki interrupted sharply.

“I wouldn’t say I’m alright with it, but he has his reasons.” Logan replied calmly. Loki sat back in wonder, wanting more than anything to believe that this – being here – could and would work.

“You trust him that much?”

“Yea, I guess I do. Why? Do you think he’s taken something from you?”

Loki nodded, “It feels like he’s taken everything from me. And here, I feel so out of place. That’s nothing new, I suppose, but I just feel…unsettled.”

“And living in a school with a bunch kids makes you feel even more out of place and wrong.” Logan provided for him.

“Yes, exactly. Not to sound ungrateful, because I am more grateful than I could ever say, but…”

“Listen, I get it, I know how it feels. Maybe not to the same degree since I don’t know what you’ve been through; but I do get it. I’m not real good, but I’m here because someone gave me a chance when I didn’t deserve it. The Professor is good and he is safe; he doesn’t use his _against_ anyone. I don’t know where I’d be without him. Well, actually, I know exactly where I’d be and it ain’t good.” Logan pushed his empty basket away from him and leaned his elbows on the table, “I told you I don’t beat around the bush and I don’t. You know where I stand, if you hurt anyone, I stop you. But just so you know, you’re not alone here. I’m giving you the same chance that they gave me.”

Loki couldn’t speak; for a moment, he’s not sure he was even breathing. It sounded almost like Logan _wanted_ him to succeed, or more than that, he _could_ succeed. _It sounded too good to be true._ Logan, he knew, wasn’t forgiving his past actions, but nor was he holding them against him. He was being given a chance, a real chance, to earn the trust of these people on his own merit and in his own way – and to trust them in return. It terrified him, the list of people he actually trusted is practically non-existent.

To say _thank you_ didn’t seem adequate enough. He didn’t deserve this chance, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows this is temporary. Eventually, Thanos will make good on his threat. Loki failed, and the Tesseract was kept from them. He knows it is only a matter of time before the Chitauri find a way here and exact their vengeance. He’s already decided he won’t let these people – these children – be put in harm’s way on his behalf.

“I give you my word; I will never harm these children.” Was the only thing Loki could say.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, just to give you an idea of my inspiration for this story. I love butterflies, and the title of this chapter is Chrysalis. When a caterpillar is in the cocoon, it reaches a point where an additional hard layer (this is the chrysalis) develops to protect the caterpillar because at this stage, it completely liquefies. This is the time of transformation and metamorphosis of becoming a new creature.
> 
> So metaphorically speaking, Xavier’s mansion is Loki’s chrysalis while I mentally and emotionally liquefy him before building him into something new, but hopefully not OOC. So, sorry. Loki will be probably be slightly OOC for these chapters as he doesn’t exactly have access to his darker emotions (these will be back later, I promise). I’m not sure how graphic any of his flashbacks/nightmares will be, but I will update with warnings as necessary.
> 
> In the meantime, Loki will be meeting and eventually working with the X-Men while dealing with some of his issues. (since someone asked, I am plotting friendships with Rogue and Wolverine, and Loki will have interactions with Nightcrawler, Pyro, Bobby (Iceman), Beast, some Magneto and maybe Mystique.) When the Avengers find out, obviously, they won’t be happy, but that happens later.
> 
> There will be some humor, I hope, especially with the Logan/Loki friendship I’m hoping to build, so, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you continue to follow and enjoy this story. Thanks again! And feel free to comment, I love your feedback! :))


	3. Authors Note

Hi all. I'm so sorry to be posting this, and before you panic, the story will not be abandoned. Unfortunately, my laptop is broken and I do not have the money to diagnose it let alone fix it. As it's the only one I have, I have no other way to work on my stories. I'm behind on some of my bills and I just had to spend $500 fixing my car (that $500 was my rent and my phone payment) so sadly, my laptop is taking a backseat until I can get caught up. Again, none of my stories will be abandoned and I'm going to post this note on a few of them so everyone knows what's going on. I am so so sorry that this happened. The only update I will give is the posting of a new chapter, so hopefully sooner than later. Again, I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's the end of the beginning. The other chapters won't be this long, and they will usually only be in the POV of Loki, Thor, sometimes Logan or other people. This was just the set-up. I know there wasn't a lot of prose in this chapter, since it was so dialogue heavy I thought I'd save the prose for the more angst filled chapters. And the deeper emotions. This is just a start, and a long one at that.
> 
> Again, feel free to review! I hope you enjoy it enough to stick around!


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